Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Been a while since my last post, so maybe, just maybe,a lot of this one could be fabricated. The seal hunt has all but left the headlines and the celebrities have all returned home until next year. Rumors are circulating that some rich white dude just back from Dubai has petitioned to buy all of next years Whitecoat seals and move them to his Neverland ranch in the Santa Ynez Valley, California. Sir Paul Mccartney & Lady Heather have already jumped on the bandwagon and have contacted Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to help with proceedings to adopt all of next years newborns. Hollywood itself has come out in full force and styrofoam ice pieces can be seen already being prepared for shipment to the ranch. Captain Paul Watson when interviewed by the National Enquirer on the matter seemed a bit nervous about the whole idea saying if such a thing happened his animal rights organization would stand to loose a lot of donations from the public who would probably send money to the Whacko Jacko Adopt a Seal Foundation instead. California Vegans are already preparing vegan meals in advance for the million or so seals that would be coming next spring. PETA has raised questions on how the seals would be rounded up on the floes off Eastern Canada and delivered across the continent. Two Hollywood cowboys who recently starred in Brokeback Mountain have suggested an overland route saying they already have experience rounding up sheep and whitecoat seals looks similiar from a distance. It's going to be an interesting year and Larry King already has next weeks shows booked with celebrities who are jumping on the Seal Exodus bandwagon. Meanwhile back at Neverland Michael is setting up his petting zoo for the seals and kids are in line waiting.Rumour has it the petting has already started.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Monday, April 03, 2006
The seals have another advocate this year! Porn star Pamela Anderson hosted the Junos last night in Halifax and made the comment that her favorite artists were not able to make it to the Junos this year. She said "Seal didn't attend in fear of being clubbed". Pam tossed out a few more remarks about blood and ice but im ashamed to say i didn't catch them all. I, like a lot more was to infatuated with Pams big fake tits and was thinking to myself, if this girl gets on the floes and holds a baby seal in the nude,our whole friggin sealing industry is gone. Im willing to bet, that one poster like that could raise more money in one year then Paul Watson sucked out of morons in the pass decade. So here's to you today Pamela, enjoy your moment in the sun because a Bardot you soon will be also.( I hope they don't sag in your old age!)